While an article like this isn’t really that sexy, like “3 Ways to make somebody fall for you,” it’s still bloody important in my opinion. If you’re not genuine and authentic in your love life, where CAN YOU BE?
Your love life, the place where you’re potentially exposing your most intimate aspects of who you are to another human being, is a place to be genuine. A lot of other articles and dating coaches will sell you tactics on how to get another person to like you, but it’s the same as handing you the keys to a car. You can drive that car with you and a loved one to somewhere amazing OR you can accidentally crash it into a tree.
So, in this article, we explore authenticity and three ways that you can start practising this now! If you’re already in a place where you’re authentic, then the ideas will either affirm that you’re in the right direction OR give you new ideas!
#1 – SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY
Look, you can’t always guarantee that somebody understands you, but you can guarantee that YOU express your way that is true to what you mean. You see, we store our emotions in our body and accessing those emotions and becoming more sensitive to them is a huge step on the way to not only becoming more authentic but being the master of your own emotional domain.
To this extent, I invite you to say what you mean and mean what you say. This means that you hide your emotions less which can be a SCARY THING for some people. If you’re in a place where there are a lot of things you don’t say to people, you don’t have to jump from hiding your feelings to be a giant open book. Just one page at a time is ok.
When you start going down this path you also activate four key aspects. The first is:
YOU START LEARNING ABOUT WHO YOU ARE
When you make a commitment to stop hiding your emotions, you’ll start being more clear about who you are as well. This means you’re going to start learning about yourself like a fire burning through a dry field. If you have a hint of anger in you, you’ll express it very very quickly. This quickly leads to the second aspect.
YOU’LL LEARN ABOUT WHAT YOU MANIFEST WITH THOSE EMOTIONS QUICKLY
With the above answer, if you start to express your anger quicker, you’ll also see the results of said anger very quickly. You’ll also get the chance to then realise the next key aspect!
YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE IS SO IMPORTANT
If you’re being so clear about what you’re thinking and feeling, then you’ll discover the effects of your emotions quicker than anybody you know. You’ll see very quickly, from being authentic, that anger creates more anger and love creates more love. This then leads to the last aspect…
YOU’LL BECOME AN EMOTIONAL MASTER
This is the key here, and a huge foundation for my work. When you see the results of your emotional vibration, you’ll start to mediate what you feel to make sure it’s in alignment with what you want. If you want more love, then you’ll tune yourself to love.
This is a journey that I love bringing people through, and I can’t wait to take you on that journey.
#2 – START EXPLAINING YOURSELF 10% MORE IN A SUBJECTIVE WAY
A great way to become more authentic and navigate that space in a safe way is to start explaining yourself a tad more but in a more subjective way. This sort of language really helps soothe your mind and ease in other people to your new way of deep and insightful way. This means you explain what you feel and your observations from your perspective. It’s also nice to wire it in a positive perspective as well.
“People are idiots” becomes
“From my perspective, people are idiots.”
The first sentence is a huge universal statement that is sort of full of pain and anger. As we know by now, anger and pain creates more! Try stopping an argument by arguing more? I find, it just causes more problems!
This sort of language pattern is also the logical conclusion of somebody learning to express themselves more as well. When you start opening up, you also simultaneously start opening up to more people. Those people who also thought that “people are idiots” will not only be the people that you speak to, those people that share the same perspective as you. It’s to this extent when you adopt this language pattern you are pushing yourself down your journey for self-expression and authenticity very quickly!
Why did I use the example of “People are idiots” above? Well, it’s because that statement comes out from pain. It’s easy to put people down because then it builds you up, and if that works for you that works for you. Personally, I prefer not to put people down as much as I can consciously be aware of. As a result, if it was me, I’d say instead,
“From my perspective, I feel frustrated by those people.”
BAM! RIGHT TO THE REAL POINT and very clear about what is going on internally. You can still use a sentence like that to connect with people, and from a place of love that helps you create more love in your life.
How nice is that!
#3 – Just Remove Yourself if it is too hard
Look, at the end of the day, if you’re in a place where you’re trying to be authentic and it’s getting too hard, just remove yourself from that situation. I’m probably going to be the most people-orientated-person that you’ll ever meet, and even I remove myself from people that I just don’t want to be around.
Sometimes we have some conflicting interests or beliefs. You might be the kind of person who really believes in yourself and somebody else believes that only the lucky people are successful. You then get a choice, you then get to open up a potential debate by being authentic or just changing the situation. Personally, I prefer to change the situation. Either remove yourself or change the topic.
There is nothing wrong with you even saying,
“I’d personally prefer not to have this conversation with you,” which, when said out of love, really pays respect to both you and the other person. You’re choosing peace over a conflict. You’re also allowing you’re also inviting your relationship with that person to take its own unique pathway of least resistance. Choosing love and connection through a shared sense of connection rather than choosing conflict.
Some people are afraid of being authentic because it can invite disagreements and conflict, especially if you’re holding back what you’re feeling about somebody. With this, the more you allow yourself to be authentic, the less you’ll let the negative emotions build up. It’s to this extent we want to open up the tap a little bit more.
When you go through these steps, you’ll also stop playing so many games in the dating world. You’ll also have a lot fewer questions when it comes to love and your partner. The more you allow yourself to be authentic, the more you invite others to be as well. It’s a beautiful synchronistic phenomenon that I just love to observe.
No more games, just two people connecting.
Just the way it should be.
Thank you for reading.
Sharam Namdarian Xx