So, I want you to read this article if you hate Valentine’s day. If you really wish it was ‘single’s appreciation day’ or if you spend the day or even the month of February trying to avoid it in some way or another. Some people avoid valentine’s day by going on a Holiday or making a unique night of it. They go out, try and drink or party or even have a night in trying to forget the day. Others go through the shops and see Valentine’s day goodies all around and look at them with disdain!
“Oh the pain of it all,” you may think, “I really don’t like Valentine’s day. It’s a commercial day designed to pour money out of your pockets and take advantage of your sweet poor innocent heart.”
You then think about your love life, would you celebrate it if you had somebody to celebrate it with? If you are with somebody, wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to have so much self-pressure?
Well, in this article, we are going to be talking about Valentine’s day in the context of those people that look at it with distrust and hate. If you’re one of those people, this article will take off some of that pressure so you can really be more you in a day that isn’t really that different to any other day.
Valentine’s day is in fact just another day.
I think this year it comes on a Thursday (in 2019). Do you know what is so special about Thursdays? Well, whatever the hell you want! As a dating coach people do often ask me about Valentine’s day and my thoughts on it. Frankly, I really don’t care too much about it personally. In my own love life, I notice that my mind is constantly searching for special things to do in the name of love. Some things require certain days and other ideas do not. Valentine’s day gives me more material to work with. Sort of like a love-artist. The day presents itself as another opportunity for me to love.
Why do I bring this up?
Because the opposite of love is not to hate, the opposite of love is indifference. There are many people who proclaim that they don’t care, but if you really didn’t care why would you be hating on it so bad? This is exactly the time when my partner and I broke up for a short period of time. I blocked her off everything. I wasn’t strong enough to see her face. Only a while later I realized,
“if I really was so strong, I probably wouldn’t have cared too much about it.”
I bring this up because I really want you to recognize something. Those that hate on Valentine’s day are not showing that they are strong or special for hating on it. They are in the camp of those people that hate it. You’re just as ‘bad’ as those people that get caught up in it and put all this pressure on themselves to perform. We all know that if you put pressure on yourself, you end up being less yourself (and as a result, you choke the love that can be pulled through). This is the whole basis of my 6-week program (click here to read more about it). I think it is so important to be you that when we team up, I remove all barriers that stop you from being more you.
If you really didn’t care so much about Valentine’s day, you wouldn’t hate it so much!
So what can you do instead?
Well, some people think they are outsmarting the system by calling it “Single’s Awareness Day,” and to this, I tell you, that you are not. If you hate on others that are being caught up in a ‘system’ you too are being caught up in the system.
Instead, I’d invite you to be like the person that doesn’t really care either way. It is, in fact, a Thursday after all. You can do Thursday things! You can brush your teeth in a Thursday way and go about your day in your normal variety of Thursday ways! This itself is your power. You can discover yourself like you would on any Thursday. Hating on love is just as bad as putting pressure on yourself to love. The solution is and always will be…
A balanced state of mind.
This is something I teach the people I work with really deeply. I really want them (and you) to recognize at a deep level that the perfect place to be is in balance. Balance through loving yourself and balance through knowing yourself. This happens when you don’t take the events of the world too seriously. When you learn to forgive yourself for all your past doings and live in the present. The truth is, a lot of the time when we are hating on something or putting pressure on ourselves because of another thing, it has very little to do with the event or person and more to do with what we aren’t allowing ourselves to feel. A person will hate on valentine’s day for the same reason they cannot find a date. They aren’t allowing themselves to feel the emotions they need to be feeling. They are holding on. It is time to let go!
Fighting something you hate doesn’t really help.
Do you want to save the world? Make your inner world sweeter. Do you want to make things in life better? Make your world sweeter. Want to be loved? Make your soul a garden people will not want to leave. The irony is, this is the case always, but sometimes we just aren’t aware of it. Sometimes we have a big sign on our face that says,
“PLEASE, DON’T TALK TO ME, I AM NOT READY TO LOVE,” which is from the same emotional place of hating Valentine’s day.
The whole point of this article is not that I want you to start loving Valentine’s day, because really, I don’t really mind either way. I’d just prefer, for your sake, that you stopped hating on it. It really doesn’t do you or the world any favors and at the end of the day, your happiness is your own responsibility. People like me are here to help!
Thanks for reading.