Have you ever wanted to understand the dynamics of what causes love and attraction to spark? Well, let’s talk about it now, sort of like it is a fire about to ignite.
In love, with people, there are certain dynamics. Some can be forced and some can’t. It’s important to understand that the spark, at the very core, is something that cannot be faked. No game, no trick, no manipulation can get this to spark to flare up. It’s a co-creation between two people.
So, what happens is that a relationship (unlike love) is a collaborative and co-creative experience. When you meet somebody who is on the same page, you’re meeting somebody that you can co-create a spark together. The spark of love and relationships. Like an actual fire, there has to be something for the fire to catch on, otherwise, the spark itself will be pointless.
You see, the spark itself is created from a combination of all your life experiences and all your partner’s life experiences. This is why often when you ask people about their relationships, and if they met their partner any earlier often they would not have been ready for it. It is sort of like building a house. If the house isn’t complete, it can very well fall apart.
This is why, when you really feel that pull towards somebody and they feel it back, there is NOTHING that can stop you two and usually the relationship moves very fast (or, as fast as it is capable of going).
WHAT IF YOU FEEL THE SPARK AND THEY DON’T FEEL IT
Here’s one thing that is really worth pointing out. If you feel the spark isn’t reciprocated, you have to be aware of something. That is, the spark is ALWAYS reciprocated. If you feel it for somebody, often they feel it for you. You wouldn’t feel it if it didn’t mean something.
And this is a big BUT! Usually, there are things called “resistances” that get in the way. It’s the same some people feel like they should eat healthily, but they have some resistances that get in the way. This is why there’s the phrase, “whatever resists, persists.” Now, here’s the thing with resistances.
IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SOLVE THEIR RESISTANCES
Now, here’s why this article is all about the spark. Let the spark that you two share solve the problems. It isn’t your job to solve their resistances, and to make them recognise the spark more. The more you do that, the more you force it and when a relationship is based on force, it will be founded on force. When you or your partner stop forcing it, the relationship quickly falls apart.
This is why we want to allow our relationships. Keyword in that last sentence, ALLOW! Allow what comes most naturally to us to happen and to allow what happens most naturally them to happen. This means if you want to send a text message, ask yourself if it comes from a good place or not. If not, then don’t. If yes, then send away.
This gives you permission to be as crazy or as eccentric as possible in the way you create your relationships as long as they come from love.
LET THE SPARK YOU SHARE BE ENOUGH
When you let the spark you share take control and “run” the relationship, you’ll have the natural resistances evolve. This is why often you can see a friend who is avoidant about relationships and all of a sudden they’ll find their way into something so deep and so incredible often overnight. The spark itself that the two people shared was strong enough to overcome all resistances.
Sort of romantic huh?
Completely! This is just a lovely way of having your relationships work. ALL OF THEM. Not just intimate/romantic, but your friendships, your relationship with your career and your body. Let the spark of what you want and the desire to overcome any and all resistances. Rather than trying to solve the problem.
SO WHAT CAN YOU DO NOW?
Well, some people will read this article and think,
“BUT WHAT CAN I DO NOW?” Which, ironically, goes against everything that I just shared. There is not much to do but to live your life. Let your life be your dating app, let your desires and instincts be your guide and let your relationship with yourself be the most important relationship you can have.
Let your desires run the show and dare to be ok with who you are and what is happening around you.
Thank you for reading.
Sharam Namdarian Xx