Why Successful People Can (sometimes) Suck at Dating
Yeah, it’s true. Successful people can really suck at dating sometimes. They might have everything else in order! Their career, their finances, their health, their living affairs! Dating? That can go down the toilet! In this article we are going to talk about why this happens, and if you’re somebody who’s both successful and who sucks at dating, how to get over it!
WHY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE CAN SOMETIMES SUCK AT DATING:
I’ll be real and straight to the point with this article. They can suck at dating because it’s not measurable or tangible (or at least, they don’t know how it is tangible). For example, let’s look at a business. In a business, you can measure things. The output of a product, the input of cash, taxes, marketing, increased social media! All these things can be measured, either on a day to day basis or month to month or however, you want it!
Business seems like it is a lot easier. It is to this extent that a lot of successful people chose to primarily focus on their business, swearing off dating and relationships in hope that they’ll be at some business meeting or convention and THEN they meet that sexy somebody.
I personally, prefer “knowing” to hope. I’ve seen people hope for years and get nowhere. Knowing, on the other hand, can be super special, and I’ll tell you more about how to know how it all works shortly!
2. It’s not JUST you!
Let’s look at personal goals. Goals like fitness, weight or even money management. When it is just you, it’s easy. You know what is going on in your mind. When it is dating, its more than you, and this can drive people absolutely insane! This is mostly because successful people can get used to “knowing what is going on,” and in dating, especially at the start, there can be a lot of UNKNOWN.
You have no idea how somebody is thinking and feeling at times. It can absolutely suck when you really like a person and you especially want it to work out. This is when I find, that successful people can give up on dating because it can be akin to stabbing in the dark. Again, I’ll be talking more about how NOT to stab in the dark later on.
3. Sometimes results aren’t immediate.
Imagine if you’re used to getting results in all parts of your life, you’d naturally want more and more results on a similar scale. It’s like you’re used to building skyscrapers fast and easy! Then, you meet somebody and things are going so well but compared to the rest of your life, it just seems so slow! If you’re somebody who is used to building skyscrapers, building a relationship can be akin to building a house for the first time! You’re going to make mistakes (which is awesome) AND it takes times because it takes time to build foundations that will last the ages.
It is these foundations that do make things last.
So let’s now talk about how to tangibly go about dating, something that can help any successful people have a sense of scale in it all.
CREATING RELATIONSHIPS THAT LAST.
The measure is pleasure
Here’s how you can tangibly understand how your relationship is going. Does it feel good? Are you bringing pleasure to that person’s life as well?
It sounds so simple, but that’s because it is simple. Relationships and dating are about two people connecting and enjoying each other’s company. Without that, it’s two people overcomplicating it and trying to figure out if you are a good match. With pleasure, it’s a magical evening and a connection.
Learning to bring joy to each other’s lives, even on a first encounter, is the name of the game! Look at online dating? From all my experience of online dating, the dates that go ahead (and last) are the ones that are interesting, exciting and even a little funny! All pleasurable emotions!
It’s this that brings people together, and it is this that excites people into wanting to get to know you more!
This is why often allowing a relationship to take it’s most natural path (which can be scary at first for some people) is the way you want to let it go!
For example, you might have a date or two almost back to back. This can be fun, but then you might have to work for a week. Then after that, it might be a coffee catch up and THEN it’s a weekend get-away. There is no real structure to how a string of dates that leads to something more goes, but there is a real rule of following the path of least resistance.
This might mean that the relationship’s least resistance is a short one, but if you’re ok with that you’ll make it the best possible experience ever. This might mean that the relationship’s least resistance is the rest of your life. Well, if that’s the case, following this idea, you’re in for a wild ride.
LET PEOPLE COME TO YOU
For some reason, I have been saying this a lot to people recently, and imagine a cat for a moment. How do you get a cat to sit on your lap? Well, you can’t force a cat to sit on your lap, you have to LET the cat come to you. When the cat does come to you, it learns that it’s SAFE to come to you and they come over and over again (eventually).
This is a key idea here, it is safety. A lot of people do not make it safe for other people to come to them, especially successful people. We are used to it being a certain way and they want their world to be a certain way (wonderful) and so, when their love life doesn’t go that way, they either give up or get angry.
That anger then pushes people away more. You then teach people to move away from you with this kind of behaviour. It is not fun.
You might say that if somebody loves you, they will chase you. Sometimes, you have to give them space to chase you. When you give them this space, you can then create the best possible relationship you two can create.
BUT MOST OF ALL…
It’s not about letting go, what will help you create an amazing relationship (at any level) is understanding. Not only understanding each other, but learning how love works. When you learn what makes somebody interested in you, and why somebody is, you then get the power to flow that relationship and really make it a relationship worthwhile.
Thank you for reading.
Sharam Namdarian Xx