Ok, so I’ve been struggling with the title of being a dating coach. Why? Because I see the widespread use of the work I do and I often see it as limited to my future. Eventually, I’ll evolve into something else, I don’t know what it is but eventually, It will reveal itself.
The work I do is more than to do with love and dating, but also at the same time not. I’ve found as I’ve evolved, I’ve made really tremendous breakthroughs in a variety of aspects of life. The work we do is widespread. It is essentially how love heals all wounds and creates the life you want, but so much more.
So, the title of this post is about food addiction. Why food addiction?
Well, I’ve been making great leaps and bounds within my own. Just like when it came to dating, after years of my own experience then I started to share this, I’m making ways in the emotional ramifications of food.
I think it’s absolutely and very fundamentally interesting to observe our reactions to things, and once observed, loved, healed. Once healed, then we get a choice, do we like that pattern, or do we want to keep it? Once decided on, we evolve to our next stage of evolution. That is, whatever the hell you want or need it to be at the time.
If you’re a fan of my work, you’ll know I talk a lot about layers. The layers we have built up because we are hurt or we have inherited people’s pain. It’s so insanely fascinating to me to observe somebody heal, love their wounds, then step almost immediately out of them. It’s hard not to think there’s some divine energetic power behind it all, and this is why my work is sometimes considered spiritual. Sometimes, you just have to use that language to express what the real world hasn’t quite got the lexicon to describe.
When it comes to layers, we can see that a human, when hurt, overcompensates. A lot of the emotional pain we feel is because we can witness in ourselves the dissonance between who we are being in the world and who we are at a truly deep and core level. The level before the layers of life made it difficult for us to be. So very interesting then, is once a layer is healed, all the overcompensatory behaviour is almost forgotten (or over a period of time, discovered that it is no longer required) and the true self can start manifesting. Then, you’ll see that a person just seems more grounded, more “themselves.”
So what does this have to do with food?
Well, I’ve been applying the same healing method to food. Loving all food and food issues. Very interestingly then, I’ve had to and found myself automatically shedding the layers that I’ve developed over a life time around food.
- Carbs are bad
- Too much protein is bad
- Don’t be fat
- Don’t be too skinny.
Frankly, the list goes on. As I heal those layers, I find it even more fascinating to discover that as I shed those layers, I’m forced to deal with the pain underneath. THE VERY SAME THAT I COACH PEOPLE WITHIN THEIR LOVE LIVES. Sounds obvious, but I’m excited to go through this process.
Issues of worthiness. Issues of shame around my body. Issues of anger. All self-medicated with food. All used to build up my personality to my true self, so I can function as a regular human while still feeling good. All the while, sweeping issues under the rug.
So what big revelation is there in this article then? If we discuss food and food addiction and the relationship we have with our emotions and the overcompensatory behaviour that exists to survive in this world, what big tangible revelation can you draw from this article to feel safe, sound and have a big ahhah moment yourself?
Well, it’s sort of this:
I discovered in myself, and maybe you might feel these words as well, that I don’t have a food addiction like I thought I have.
I have an addiction to feeling good.
Again, no idea if this is you or not, you can let me know personally by emailing me here. To discover within myself that I feel like I have an addiction to feeling good is revelationary. Why? Because once realised you get a choice. Do you keep it or do you not?
One might argue that addiction to feeling good is great. Why not keep it? Well, the truth is, we want life. We want all of it. The highs, the lows, the savage savage defeats. An addiction to feeling good is a need to feel good all the time, and sometimes that’s just not possible.
Ironically, the most sure-fire way to feel good moderately great all the time is to be ok not feeling so great. When we don’t fight it, we tend to let it happen. When we let it happen, we not only master it, but transform it so quickly and easily.
So what can you do? Well, firstly, tell me your story. Let me know in some way, I need to know.
The other thing, pay attention to your reactions to food and decide actively to love them. You will heal, shed layers of protection, become more vulnerable and start saying yes to life more.
Will it be instant, bloody hell it won’t be. But it will be life-lasting.
Thank you for reading.
I’ve been documenting my process with food and the layers I’ve been healing by video. When it’s done, I’ll be uploading a full mini-doc style on my youtube channel. Make sure to subscribe here!