Love does not come to those who wait, but those who make space for it.
I write this article because I really want to connect with people who are living by this mantra. This mantra also goes alongside the mantra of ‘time heals all wounds.’ The key element in both mantras is time. There is a fallacy in waiting for love just like there is a fallacy in waiting for healing to occur while there is also some truths in it. In this article, we will be discussing both the fallacies and truths in these mantras so maybe you can create your own or develop a deeper understanding of the world of the heart.
Why Time Heals All Wounds and Why it Also Doesn’t.
If time was the healing factor in emotional wounds, then why do people suffer for something through their entire life? The answer is that time gives people for of a chance to heal but it is not the cause of the healing itself. Time only heals wounds when the person giving themselves time recognizes that they are in a process of healing. This can include taking life a little bit slower, forgiving themselves, deep introspection, learning to love themselves. Essentially it is not a layering up process, in which people who have been hurt want to do, but an un-layering process. It is a letting go process of all that one feels they accumulated that holds them in their emotional tower. The little girl is carefree and gets hurt, so learns to be more strict. The strict carefree girl gets hurt, so learns to be more fluid. The fluid strict carefree girl gets hurt, so learns to be more charismatic. The charismatic fluid strict carefree girl becomes trapped in the glass case of her own upbringing so must learn to let go of the layers she has developed to return to her core nature underneath all of that. Only then will she be happy, and only then will the universe gift her everything she wanted and was promised in this lifetime.
Time does not heal all wounds, it gives you more of a chance to let go of the pain and conditioning that life has given you. Sometimes, it gives you more time to develop more conditioning that may protect you but keep you locked up in your emotional constraints.
Why Love Comes to Those Who Wait and Why it Also Doesn’t.
There is a huge fallacy here when it comes to love coming to those who wait. If you wait on the top of a mountain, will it come to you? If you wait while attacking every person who comes into your life, will it come to you?
Love does not come to those who wait, but more time can allow more chances of it occurring. It comes if you make space for it. Mental and emotional space. If you are hurting over a breakup, then it is time for you to heal from the breakup. This might come in the form of time and can often take years if not facilitated properly. If you are afraid of social situations, the fear often does not come from some inbuilt intrinsic fear system but a fear you have learned from somebody else. If you feel that people are going to use you, then until you have let go of that fear, anybody who comes up to you will be a person who you fear will use you or is destined to help you get over that fear.
Love does not come to those who wait, but to those who make mental and emotional space for it. Those who open their heart to it, feel it, heal it. I’ve often encountered people who have found themselves in love and those who have never had to speak to a coach. I have often observed that these people were the ones who had space for it in the first place, so they waited. They didn’t need to chase, just like you do not need to ever chase. Chasing then becomes irrelevant. Expression becomes relevant. Does it matter to you to express yourself or do you feel at the moment it is not the right time? You will only know this clearly if you have mental and emotional space for it, and that is what I do in my 6-week program. Otherwise, people end up over thinking it. Taking time because they need time to wait for the real version of them to seep through the cracks of their fear and anxiety or their pride and self-built-ego-walls to allow the sliver of their true self to come forth.
Love comes to you. That is the true mantra. Love comes to you. The real you, not the fake you. Love comes to the real you and not the you that you may think that you are.
Thank you for reading.
Sharam Namdarian Xx