I’ve never been one to fight the pressure of life.
I don’t know why; I just haven’t really had much of a choice. Growing up, as soon as I could walk I was pretty much forced to work in my father’s fruit shop and farm. I grew up with the pressures of school, life and the expectations of everybody around me.
Later on in life, I always seemed to pick the road slightly more filled with pressure.
Post university, I started a business as a graphic designer and I was working in a Cafe. I’d wake up at 5, catch a train to the cafe for an hour, work for 12 hours there, catch a train home and then work on the business. I’d always get it everything done and felt a huge sense of pride in it all.
Years later, when I was no longer working in the cafe and working from home as a designer-extraordinaire, I got horribly depressed. I can tell you why but that’s probably a story for another time.
When I started down the road of personal development I did it by becoming the personal assistant of a dating coach doing a world tour. We were in a different country every week or so in Europe, and my roll in the job was to do…. pretty much everything.
I slept on the couches of the hotels/airbnbs I booked while the rest slept in beds (mostly). I organised the flights, the accommodation, I organised the events that we’d speak at and do sales calls to get them into it. Eventually, I learned coaching and would do that also. I even cooked for the team as well.
It all felt like a crazy rockstar life until I had time to think. I went to a meditation retreat and realised I wasn’t happy. Much to my mother’s enjoyment, I returned home to Australia. I wasn’t actually planning on telling her that I was coming home so I could surprise her (at this point my travels seemed indefinite) but I’ll tell you what, my sister told me to tell her otherwise, and I quote,
“She’ll never trust you again.”
It’s only now that I’ve learned about surrender and healing does a lot of this make sense.
Some people struggle with pressure, and other people thrive off it.
Looking back now I realise that I thrived in the past off the pressure that other people gave me. I was used to it. Since, at a young age, I was used to the pressure my family gave me.
In my adulthood, as I look back, I realise now that if I was to be my own parent, I would have given myself more time to learn how to let go off the pressure.
You see, the pressure itself is never actually the problem. Often the very nature of life is pressure. Demands, job requirements, etc.
The real trick is, can you let go off it.
I was never a man who could let it go, so I saught it out over and over again.
Even working out at the gym. I put myself under so much pressure I never developed deep grounding ideas around fitness. That we can let go off the physical pressure we put ourselves under.
Life can give you weight, but the important thing is, can you put it down once it’s all over?
For some people yes, for some people no.
If you’ve read this far, I’d love to know what pressures you’re ok with and what pressures you’re not.