Alright. In this article, we are going to talk about pain and being hurt in a way that I have not seen anybody else talk about on the internet. This is one of those concepts that, if you understand, can be a HUGE gift you give yourself. By giving this away, some of you will have profound shifts in your emotional state and others, will, well, you’ll gloss over it and think “that’s nice” and not apply it. Regardless, this article is for those who need it. Those who are looking for a change, not for those who want to mentally masturbate over concepts and ideas. If you’re committed to exploring who and what you are, and to exploring the first time I am posting this concept in detail online, then read ahead! Everybody else, I recommend you google “cat videos,” and give that a go!
WHY WE GET HURT!
So, a quick overview of why we get hurt. Now, this is not about physical pain, but emotional pain. I would argue here, that all emotional pain that somebody can inflict on us is about identity. That is, a situation or person or sentence has made us feel or take on a new sense of identity that ISN’T us and that’s what hurts. It challenges our perception of who and what we are and that bloody hurts!
What do I mean by this?
Well, here’s an example. Johnny is going out with Betty and Betty is an amazing artist. Johnny accidentally insults Betty’s art and Betty is now hurt. WHY? Betty’s concept of her own identity is that she is an amazing artist, but that fledgeling identity is still forming. Often this is because Betty in this situation may or may not have been either denying her own talents, looking for outside interpretation for who and what she was in this world OR she has a certain perception of herself that Johnny violated.
Now, in this example, was Johnny a “bad person,” for doing this? Not unless Johnny’s OWN identity says so. He gets to decide how he thinks and feels about himself and how he goes about handling it. Does Betty have to stay being hurt? FUCK NO! She can express herself or choose to process that information as a,
“I don’t need him to tell me I am a good artist! I know I am!”
SO WHAT DOES THIS PARADIGM SHIFT MEAN?
Well, it means that with most things in our life I would argue that there are two major states of being for any goal/emotion/state. They are:
1. You’re trying to prove it to yourself!
This can be a royal pain in the ass of a mode to be in. If you’ve ever been to a comedy show where the comedian is CLEARLY using the show as therapy and you’re in your seats thinking,
“Fuck, this is painful!” Well, if you’ve been here you know what I mean. This is why most people push people away without even realising why. They recognise that their partner is attempting to use them to prove something towards themselves, and if two people are doing this we call this a “co-dependent relationship.”
Sometimes we aren’t even conscious of this behaviour. Usually, you know you’re attempting to prove things to yourself when you’re not moving forward or stuck. OR you have to keep certain habits up because if you don’t keep them up you think you’ll fail!
2. You’re NOT trying to prove it to yourself.
This is IDENTITY level stuff right here! This is where what-ever-it-is-that-you-want is part of your identity, not something that you’re trying to get towards. This is the difference between “wanting” and “having,” which, have very different vibrational feels towards them. When we have an identity level shift, you have a shift from wanting to have, so you START doing different things.
That is the HUGE key here. You start doing different things AUTOMATIC. The name of the game, AUTOMATIC ACTION! It’s not rocket-science people. If you recognise that you already have the ideas inside you, you’ll start to allow them to come out (or connect with people who have those ideas also).
People who don’t try and prove things to themselves will keep up habits because they enjoy them, not because they are trying to become something through them. They might serve a goal, but they aren’t bound by them. They also don’t keep up things just because they are afraid of losing them. They are capable of switching between modes all the time.
HERE’S THE NUANCED THING!
I would like to take this point now, as you read this article, that you’re BOTH kinds of people!
WHAT? BOTH! HOW CAN THAT BE?
Well, here’s why. You might be really confident in your workplace relationships but not confident in your intimate ones. You’re not trying to prove to yourself that you can drink a glass of water or tie your shoes, but I bet at one point you were! We tend to forget all the things that we have mastered and don’t question, and freak out about the more complex things.
I was blessed when I learnt how to drive that my mother threw me into some impossible situations (or what I thought was impossible) because there was no chance for me to self-doubt. I just had to drive the car!
SO WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT NOW?
Well, here’s the thing. I’m going to give this to you now and some people might use it and have profound results! Others might not because they gloss over it and don’t recognise the profound words that come to their space. You might need me to lead you through this, and if so, apply for your free call now.
If you want to not only HEAL your hurt but solidify it so you’re less likely to get hurt again do this:
Strengthen your identity.
Ask yourself the question, “who am I?”
Then answer it.
You might come up with some painful answers, but for the time being, I want you to experiment with this and answer it with nice and kind words about yourself. Start with words that you can believe. Words like,
“I am a human,” which is pretty believable at one point!
This is how you bring yourself out of slumps. You may, if you’re sensitive towards your thoughts and nervous system, feel a massive change right then and there.
I personally experience a sort of orgasmic explosion with a certain area that in my body that is linked to that emotion. Yes, literal orgasmic explosions. It’s that fucking good (I am having a great time with this).
You want to keep going with this process until you run out of things to say, then you keep asking yourself that question and those parts of you that question until you come up with new things. You’ll not only create a rock solid sense of identity (that will captivate) but you’ll heal past wounds also!
How, fucking, great, is, that? To me, it’s fantastic!
I want to share this with the world! So, it starts with you.
And guess what? This is only the FIRST step of this discovery! Fucking hell yeah!
But, I want to share something more with you!
Sometimes we need a coach to lead us through this process. Sometimes you need a guide, who’s traversed the terrain before so it’s not so rocky and they show you the pathways. You can use a tool like this to heal yourself or you can use a tool like this to shit all over yourself. The key difference is your vibrational alignment. If you plant a crop of seeds without recognising that the seeds are what you want or not, you can potentially yield a crop that may or may not be what you want.
I want you now if you dare traverse the terrain that is your own inner-being and mind body and soul, to apply for a call with me. I don’t say this to shove this down your throat but genuine help. Help as a guide. Picture me as a hooded man holding a torch in a ‘Lord of the Rings’-esque forest setting, asking you to travel forward. With this, you either have a choice. Traverse the Forest alone, or have me on your team as your guide.
I also offer this because I am still looking for 10 beta testers to be an amazing trail for my new program! You’ll get access to my 8 weeks Love/Life Transformational for Women course for 1/10th of the price! You’ll also become a custodian of love for me!
If this sounds like you, jump on board. If you’ve ever wanted to work with me and thought “I’m looking for the right time,” jump the FUCK ON BOARD! If you want to start getting results rather than waiting to see how things turn out, JUMP ON BOARD!
Because guess what? CHOO CHOO, this train is going to depart soon!
The course starts in September. APPLY FOR YOUR FREE CALL HERE + TALK TO ME