Look, the reason why I share this is honestly because sometimes we do it when we really mean to help our partner.
They feel down so we want to bring them up, BUT there are times when that does more pain than good.
The reason why this is the case is that sometimes people be down.
I want you, for a moment, to consider somebody who’s going through some problems. Maybe you’re even dating somebody who’s going through those problems. They are sad, they lost their job or maybe they just aren’t feeling too good.
Now, what happens is, is that sometimes we need to be sad for a reason.
Sometimes we need to be upset. Sometimes we need to be depressed. WHY? So we can get ourselves out of it.
Now, you might think in order to be a good partner that it is your JOB to help that person out of their funk, but I am here to tell you that it is not. It might be your privilege to do so, but if your partner resists, it might be because they need to go through it, and a part of it DEEP DOWN knows that also.
By forcing them to feel good when they aren’t ready or willing, often we set them back. I know in my own life when people have helped me the most it has been of great detriment. WHY? Because I never learned my own strategies to get myself out of the bad place.
Instead of thinking that it is your job to help somebody, consider the fact that you can trust yourself to get themselves out of their bad situation. That they might not believe in themselves, but you do. This mentality of “you’re not broken, you’re just going through a down period” is so powerful that you can help anybody this way.
But, I have taken it a step further. In this week’s youtube video I answer a question about somebody who’s partner feels like a failure because they don’t have a job. Whether you’re somebody who’s seeing somebody right now or not, this is a REALLY GOOD VIDEO to watch because it will tool you up to deal with that situation very well (if it ever happens).
Without the ideas I provide in this video, you run the risk of making somebody feel a hell of a lot worse than they actually feel or are. We also discuss the idea of the questions people ask because sometimes we sabotage our situation by asking the wrong questions.