Welcome to the quick guide to social confidence. In this article, we will discuss the dynamics behind creating social confidence, as well as healing blocks towards social confidence so you can start existing as you are meant to be in the world… socially.
What does social confidence look like to you?
The first thing you want to ask yourself when it comes to social confidence is what exactly it looks like to you. Honestly, I feel like as a coach I shouldn’t have to say this but it is always worth asking. Its often the question that people miss.
What does social confidence LOOK like to you? If you were to be much more socially confident, what would you do differently? What would you think? What kind of interactions would you have?
I can tell you now, that my impression of this form of confidence will be different from yours. For example, mine is about free-spirited expression. To be the life of a party, to allow me to be in tune with the situation of social situations but also completely detached. To be who I am, whatever I choose to be in any given situation.
Am I there? Pretty much, and honestly it is quite bizare. Understanding emotional healing and surrender got me there without any internal effort or struggle.
So what does it look like to you? How would you be in social situations if you were more confident?
How would it feel to be confident?
Now we’ve asked the first question about how it looks like, imagine for a second you had this level of confidence. How does it FEEL like?
Often, if you observe our desires to be more confident it isn’t just about the situations we would create but the feelings we could get from that level of confidence. Friendship. Love. Freedom. Maybe self-gratification of some form.
These emotions that are desired, as well as the desire itself, can itself be blocks towards creating that confidence (more on this in the next section).
What are some blocks to creating this social confidence?
Ok, this is the real MEAT AND BONES of healing social confidence. We said this was a quick guide right, so we will be covering this rather quickly.
When deeply creating social confidence we want to look at the blocks and HEAL them. Healing in the next section. Blocks are those little thoughts, feelings and beliefs that get in the way. They are things that cause self-doubt or make us hesitate. They are even the feeling of hesitation and self-doubt itself.
Picture yourself in a social situation where you hesitate. That was caused by a blockage. I know I am not here directly talking to you or coaching you, you can book a call to discuss that, but often the blockage is caused by a unprocessed emotion. That is, an emotion we have not allowed ourself to feel (and therefor heal), which blocks us because we are blocked from it.
Positive emotions can also be blockages. We can have such attachments to self-image, desires and outcomes that we also block ourselves from forward momentum. If we were to move forward, attempt something, then fail, it would shatter our self-image. Social hesitation, or ‘lack-of-confidence’ as one might call it, would therefore be a protective mechanism to protect that self-image.
It keeps us safe, not only from others but from ourselves.
Fuck, that’s heavy right, well, imagine for a moment you didn’t have those hesitations.
You would just exist in the world. You would just express yourself if you want, not if you don’t. You also probably wouldn’t worry if you hesitate or not because it was all ‘part of the plan.’
Now, let’s talk about healing these blocks.
How do you heal them?
Ok, so remeber how we said this was a quick guide? Well, of course you do! I’ve shoved it in your face.
While I do have a longer and more in-depth course on emotional healing introducing you to it, the quick version is this:
While existing in the world, feeling lack of confidence, hesitation and maybe even self-critisism, emotionally surrender to those emotions. They will run their course, they will heal and they will end. Once they have ended we may learn from them, wether consiously or unconsiously. Then, next time the emotion comes up our body knows how to handle it.
Look, there is a lot to talk about on this topic, and I know I know I talk about it a LOT. That’s why I have created the online course Introduction to Surrender to catch you up. That’s my way of getting as much information out there to catch you up as quickly as possible.
When you’ve taken this course you will know much more in-depth what emotional surrender is, how to take steps towards healing social confidence within you and make those steps. While I will create an online course about specifically healing social confidence blocks, this is the one I recommend for now.
And there you have it!
A quick guide to healing social confidence. It is rather complex when you’re in it which is why a guide is often required. I will often be out with somebody who is experiencing some hesitation of self-judgement or anxiety, and helping them heal a blockage in that moment often lets them express themselves RATHER QUICKLY.
Which, honestly, I find super interesting.
People often teach social skills or personal development as a method to avoid pain. This method, of embracing, feeling and then healing it lets it move through your body and once it’s completed it’s cycle, you learn from it and move on.
You can move on with your life, rather than turn overcoming confidence into an aspect of your personality like I did. You can then build bigger and better things, which is what I think life is really about.
Thanks for reading.