Time to break down 3 common myths about attraction. In this article, we will break down 3 of the most common myths when it comes to how attraction works and what an alternative way of looking at it is. You’ll also discover the process of breaking down the blocks to become more attractive within you. That is already within you.
Myth on Attraction 1: Attraction is all about Appearance.
Let’s just jump into one of the biggest myths on attraction.
Attraction is NOT all about appearance. If you ever google the phrase “how to be more attractive” what do you get? Suggestions on how to change your appearance. I swear I even saw one article that wrote “try wearing sunglasses.”
Great, I’m single again, time to wear sunglasses (this is a terrible joke which will repeat in this article, you have been warned)!
The absurdity that your appearance or looking a certain way has massive sway over your levels of attraction is quite interesting because it sells. Abs sell, weight-loss sells, heck, even sunglasses sell. Giant industries based on communicating to you that if you bought their product you’d look a certain way, and thus be happy, exist.
The thing is, your appearance in actual fact DOES have some sway over your attraction levels but not because you LOOKED a certain way.
Attraction is communicated through appearance NOT because of appearance.
That’s right. It’s communicated THROUGH appearance.
Picture yourself on a day where you’re feeling great about yourself. You feel downright sexy for no particular reason. How might you act? How might you dress? How might you stand?
NOW FLIP IT. Picture yourself on a day where you’re feeling shit about yourself. You feel unsexy for no particular reason. How might you act? How might you dress? How might you stand?
For one, if you’re feeling great you might stand more confidently. You might dress in a way that brings attention to you. You might even, dare I say, wear sunglasses.
When you start to heal your relationship with your appearance you start to realise that you have been putting some undue pressure on it. Often people put a lot of responsibility on it, that it has to look a certain way for you to feel good about yourself or attractive. Often this is used as a motivator for fitness.
And there is NOTHING wrong with this.
Taking all the pressure off your appearance to be attractive, in all my years of coaching relationships, attraction, love, and connection it has always brought me back to this.
Your thoughts and feelings about yourself, the person you’re interested in and your life situation are the things that matter.
The grand assumption is: You are attractive as YOU ARE. Even more than you are capable of recognising. Often so much we had to bury it just to even be comfortable being ourselves.
All those little thoughts like:
- They don’t like me.
- I’m unattractive.
- I shouldn’t be interested in them.
- They are out of my league.
- I am unattractive looking like this.
- I should look like that.
These are all the thoughts and feelings BLOCKING your attractive levels.
Truly, a person does not need much to be attractive. A person, really, just needs to exist. This can be confronting to some.
Because if you are attractive AS YOU ARE, there is not much to change. You can change things because you want to then, as an expression of your joy and passion for the world, not because you want to.
Focusing on healing your blocks towards being attractive or even attracting a particular person helps you long-term because once healed, your body knows how to handle them.
While I do talk a lot about attraction in many articles and videos, healing your response to your thoughts and feelings about it is the most-ground breaking way to go about it. I recommend checking out my online course: healing the blocks to love, so you can start healing those blocks… well… NOW.
Myth on Attraction 2: You have to be confident to be attractive.
Confidence is the same.
“If you don’t look a certain way, then at least you can be more confident,” right?
Well, in a similar vein to the above, it is just another perceived thought blocking what is already attractive from coming out of you.
Heck, even our thoughts and beliefs about confidence BLOCK higher forms of confidence! I’ve found when coaching social skills and helping people become more confident that…
Confidence is the absence of mind, not the fullness of mind.
It is when you’re NOT DOUBTING that you’re the MOST confident. There is a flow to true confidence that a person who psychs themself up for something will never have.
What are some of the thoughts and beliefs that block higher levels of confidence?
- I need to be more confident.
- I am not confident.
- I am not in control.
- People don’t like me.
All these thoughts and beliefs are the VERY THINGS blocking the higher forms of confidence.
I’ve often talked about in videos that often we can ultimately create a sort of meta-confidence. Where a person is so confident in their skin that when they aren’t confident it doesn’t mean much to them. That lack of confidence was part of the plan in a way.
So how does this relate to attraction?
If you start to recognise that confidence is not always a part of attraction, then you can see that often we use that as an excuse.
“If only I was more confident, then I’d be more attractive” is just as much of a blockage as “I am only attractive because I wear glasses.”
Myth on Attraction 3: You need money to be attractive.
Same thing really, if you’re starting to get the jist!
This is one of the myths on attraction that is often found in a lot of men, as they put a lot of pressure on their financial state to be attractive.
And it can be completely justified. We look at TV, and see people rapping about their money and their hoes. Surely if that rapper has that much money and that many hoes, there must be an algorithmic approach to money and hoes. Mo money = mo hoes.
Anyway, enough jokes about this.
Often, just like looking a certain way, having “enough” money can allow a person to give themselves PERMISSION to feel attractive.
It itself isn’t the reason why a person was attractive, it just gave them an opportunity to let themselves be attractive.
And even then, this is not always the case. Sometimes a person can gain the self-prescribed amount of money that they think will help them become more attractive and realise that it was them all along. To this extent, it can be helpful.
There is a LOT more to this, but we can cover this in future articles, videos, and courses.
What Attraction REALLY is.
Attraction is many things.
Attraction can be perfectly timed.
It can be messy.
It can be romantic.
What traction REALLY is, is a weird flow. In many ways, the people we attract are often a reflection of how we view the world. In many other ways, it is not. In my private coaching, I don’t really focus on becoming more attractive unless that is a person’s goal. I don’t see much of a point.
Looking at a person’s thoughts, beliefs and feelings towards their romantic life helps bring more people in, organically and always perfectly timed. I will often observe that a person who has had some emotional shift will usually invite a new person into their life. Often because before they were trying to prove something to themselves through relationships and now they just want love. All these myths on attraction are often blockages themselves.
Be brave enough to not only desire what you desire, who you desire and how you want to be desired but also your thoughts, feelings and emotions around love, relationships, connection and attraction.
If for some reason you want the whole world to think you are attractive, because you feel it in your bones, then heal the blocks towards that.
You are allowed to want what you want.
Thanks for reading. I hope I helped you debunk some of the myths on attraction.