People try too hard to like themselves.
Self image. It is important. How you view yourself. It is important.
Have a negative self image and often you alter your life to suit that self image. Develop a strong positive self image and often a person will alter their life to suit that positive self image. You can often observe that a person can self-sabotage their life just because they can become uncomfortable with success.
In this article we are going to discuss the process that makes a person’s self image, from the perspective of a life coach and emotional healer (me, Sharam) but also from the perspective from a person who is honestly just living their own life.
Negative Self Image
Before we talk about a positive self image, let’s talk about negative self images first.
What happens when a person has a negative self image? What causes a negative self image.
My healing work (and my entire life) often takes a somewhat buddhist approach. Often when I share my experience with other people, about my work, occasionally a person will point this out. What do I mean by this?
Well, our past reactions dictate our future reactions.
More specifically, our unlooked at past reactions.
Our past experience can dictate our future experience, I am no genius to say this, but I am to say that when you’re experiencing the present moment you’re also experiencing your collective past experience together.
A recent example in my own life is a situation where I had to film something. I was stressed. Using the process I use in my private coaching, I was able to heal this stress and once I was out of it realised I was not only re-living the stress of the current situation but also the stress of past situations.
Once you’ve healed something you develop an expanded awareness.
What the hell does this have to do with self image? How do I stop trying too hard to like myself!?
I can hear you say:
“Yeah Sharam! Stop jerking me around, I already do it myself”
Patience young jerker, we are getting to it.
Take a look at your past reactions. To life, to love, to everything.
Chances are in your life there’s something that you’re really good at something. Maybe it is work, maybe it is a particular skill set. You’ve got something. You have to, because you’re alive! (I hope)
This thing that you’re good at, now look at your past experiences with it. They might have been good, they might have been bad, but they all built to you being good at it. Dare I say you have a positive self image. You’ve processed the emotions of your past and that ultimately gives you experience to draw on and a brand new really clear perspective for the present moment.
With the areas of life that we have a negative self image we have unprocessed reactions that are effecting our current perspective. That is it.
The secret to develop a positive self image and stop trying too hard to like yourself is simple. It is so fucking simple people miss it. I know I missed it constantly for years.
It is so fucking simple that it can challenge your very belief systems.
Feel. That’s the punchline for my healing work. FUCKING…. FEEL!
How does a negative emotion feel? Can you emotionally surrender to it?
When you let yourself fully surrender to how an emotion feels, you finally let it run its course.
What happens is, we experience something and we were not ready for it and we freeze up. Maybe we were too young to handle it, maybe somebody told us to think a certain way and we didn’t know any better.
Letting yourself finally feel and emotionally surrender to these emotions, the good, the bad, the ugly, finally lets the emotions run their course. While this solves a significant amount of life problems, lets discuss it in terms of self image.
This assumption is really important.
Imagine, for a moment, you are perfect. You are capable of doing, being, living, experiencing, dancing, loving, fucking, growing, learning, expanding and you have a positive self image in all things you do.
This is the real you. Underneath all the layers that might cover it up.
When ever I work with somebody, it always is evident. Even in my own healing practise. We are capable of doing, perceiving and being more than we are even capable of experiencing.
When it comes to negative self talk, this is just another layer to heal.
People try hard to like themselves, it is just another layer to heal. Another layer that developed because a person has a layer stopping their own inner beauty from shining. We try too hard to like ourselves and that itself is the problem. The solution is to heal and feel it, otherwise trying to try less itself becomes another layer on top, blocking your own positive experience.
When a person heals the layer that is trying so hard, then heals the issues blocking their own positive self image, what happens? THEY SHINE.
Not because they are trying to shine, but because THAT IS JUST WHO THEY ARE. As a person, all along.
It is finally stepping out.
What starts happening?
For one, they start receiving their own glory. They recontextualise their own experiences to start shifting from negative experiences to positive experiences. With out the old reactions essentially limiting a person’s experience to be viewed in a negative light, they begin to see things for how they always were.
Happy, healthy, positive!
How they were all along.
Without the things holding you down you can rise to how you truely are.
It is rather simple but amazing.
To watch a person (yourself) grow and start to really receive where they are already amazing. It is a gift in itself. A person stops trying to like themselves and they start BEING themselves. That’s a positive self image all along.
Thanks for reading! You’ve been amazing.