Watch this When You Fight With Your Significant Other (Ask Harvey #74)


There is no summary written for this, you'll just have to read it and find out :)

Because, as much as there are going to be times where things seem easy and loving, there are also going to be times where things suck and hurt.

This can especially be in a fight. We fight with our loved ones because secretly we care, and secretly they care also, nobody knows how to express it.

This week I’ve produced a video that has some lessons about love that I had to learn the hard way. I learned it through a breakup because I saw that every time my partner and I had a disagreement there was a disconnect. She saw it, at the time, as the end of our relationship. Just another sign that we weren’t working.

I, on the other hand, saw it as a speed bump. I saw it as us stepping on each other’s toes. So, to this extent, I produced one of my best and most relief giving ideas. This idea is a metaphor about dance…


I want you to imagine that you are a dancer.

You are a dancer who has been dancing your most unique dance your entire life. That is the dance of your life. Now, on the other hand, you meet somebody who has been dancing their dance their entire life.

Now, usually, people will point out here that there should be some cosmic law about love. That it pays to be with somebody with a similar love language to you or that if you’ve got a similar family value system it would really help. While this is true, sometimes love takes you to places you never knew. To talk to people and interact and date and love people that you never would have before.

For those people, and it might be or have been you, it’s worth recognizing that if you two have a different dance of life, then all the fights are is stepping on each other’s toes as you learn to create a new dance together.

Not the end of the world, but indicative of your world being created. An example, that you cannot step on the toes of somebody that you don’t care about and that you cannot hurt somebody who doesn’t care about you.

So this week I have a video about this very topic. I talk about it in more detail than I’ve spoken about here, to help it sink into your mind and open you up to new possibilities.

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