There’s something that I’ve learned recently through the quarantine that I’d like to share. It’s not that complicated, but a sure-fire way to turn up your confidence.
Compliments, they come and go. Sometimes people compliment us because they want us to like them, sometimes because we have done something genuinely worthy of a compliment.
I don’t know about you but for most of my life when I’ve been complimented I am quick to jump in and say something else. Usually, I will either compliment them back OR explain how I got so good at whatever it is they are complimenting me at. Heck, I even made a career being a life, dating an relationship coach, but I did a major disservice to myself.
You see, when somebody compliments you, it is a gift, and learning to receive a gift properly can really turn up the volume on your sense of self-image.
If you’ve been following me, you know I often talk about self-esteem. To me, your self-esteem isn’t something you have to really grow, it’s an automatic result when we have truly let go of something that holds us down. Dare I say, most of us are born with high-self esteem. We just have to stop ourselves from holding it down.
Self-image, on the other hand, is different. It’s how we view ourselves, it’s what we see ourselves doing, what we are capable of and what we are good at.
When somebody compliments us, it can be a gift to our self-image. It can be a boost to what we consider “I.” A gift to grow. When we jump in and try and compliment them back or explain why we are so good at something, we hold ourselves back from growing in that moment.
Before you respond, feel what they say and say thank you. Integrate it, and if it feels right, it will become part of your new self-image.
This is something I learned by accident when I let go around a lot of insecurities. Suddenly instead of saying,
“oh, but you can do it as well if you just did XYZ” I said,
I was shocked. It felt good. It was though I allowed my body to recognise that,
“Hey, I am good at this, I am XYZ,”
Since then, it’s become a habit, one that helps me every day.
So, tell me, reply to this email. Let me know a time where you’ve received a compliment and not fully felt it. What might be different if you accepted it.