I honestly find self-doubt very interesting. Very, VERY interesting. I know I am a total weirdo to find this sort of stuff that interesting, but if you’re like me, then you are in many ways on a good path. It is time to heal self-doubt.
Self-doubt is fascinating because those who have it are essentially on the cusp of something great. You usually doubt yourself in situations that you care about, but also, self-doubt can creep up in situations where you don’t care. That’s the thing with self-doubt or other similar emotions, it can and does come up in many situations.
In this article, I want to talk about how to heal self-doubt, and if you’re a fan of my healing work you’ll already know the answer:
Let’s look at Self-Doubt and what it does.
First of all, if you’re experiencing self-doubt, take a look at what it is that you’re doubting yourself with: chances are you are in a situation that triggers that self-doubt. In other situations, you might not experience it.
It is to this extent you can see that self-doubt isn’t itself a major issue but it is more about your RELATIONSHIP with self-doubt and your relationship with whatever is CAUSING the self-doubt.
For example in my own life:
I have done a lot of public speaking, a LOT. My first ever public speaking was with a big crowd was around 100 people in England where I was told to warm the crowd up and guess what? I WAS NOT PREPARED AT ALL. Did this bother me at the time? No. I jumped in, spoke about stuff I knew, and afterward people came up to me and told me how they like what I said.
FLASH FORWARD TO NOW, I am starting to explore the world of Stand-Up Comedy in Melbourne. Suddenly, I am filled with self-doubt.
“Oh no, my jokes aren’t funny, oh know they won’t laugh.” These are all the thoughts that come in and out of my head.
I am suddenly, if you will, filled with self-doubt. Is this an issue? Well, no, as you’ll learn how to heal it in a moment.
But you can see from my fun little example is that public speaking itself doesn’t trigger self-doubt, but the KIND of public speaking. Also, you can see that it isn’t really about the speaking but the response of the audience. Have I cracked jokes in other public speaking situations? Hell yes, I have. Have they been funny? Well, naturally.
You will notice the self-doubt in this situation is about being loved, making others laugh, and other things that come along with stand-up comedy.
Here’s the key, and I want you to pay attention to this little sentence:
Self-doubt only comes with emotions that we as humans have yet to handle or process.
What you will notice:
You will notice that how we handle one thing is usually how we handle everything. Emotions have a start and a finish, and when a cycle is completed this is where I often refer to them as “healed.” ALL EMOTIONS have a start and a finish. THEY ALL END, and when they end, we learn from them and they move on to their next logical step. When you start to heal self-doubt it moves onto it’s next step, which can be different for everybody but will always feel lighter and happier.
The general rule with emotional healing and surrender is that:
Bad turns to good, good turns to great, great turns to amazing.
So, once we have learned from emotion, we have surrendered to it, our body and nervous system know how to handle it. That is it. Next time it comes up, our body can let it pass through our system.
So when talking about self-doubt, what is it that we are looking for here, but our UNPROCESSED EMOTIONS. That is, in the above example, for me in one public speaking situation DIFFERENT EMOTIONS come up from one form of public speaking to another. In stand-up comedy, for example, emotions come up that are different from other forms of public speaking, and as a result, if I have processed those emotions, my response is dictated.
Another interesting thing about healing:
Once you heal one thing in one area, it takes effect in other areas. I have seen in my private coaching that a person who has healed a relationship, for example, suddenly finds it very easy to lose weight. This is because, for them, their blockages and unprocessed emotions towards their relationship were the SAME as the blockages towards managing their weight.
In my own life, I have seen similar blockages healed in business suddenly make me care less what others think of me.
Blockages and stuck emotions are universal. It is our relationship with those emotions that count.
So how do we heal self-doubt?
Well, now I’ve got this information in your head, how do we handle it? Well, you might have read other online coaches’ information, you might have developed a whole bunch of strategies and techniques. Here, the definitive way can be added to your processes. You might find afterward you don’t even need all those strategies anymore.
Surrender to the feeling of self-doubt. Let yourself fully feel it. Let it runs its course, and let the cycle end.
That is the core of my healing work, and it is so simple people miss it. There is a lot of personal development and life coaches out there who will push you to avoid the pain or to ignore it. This is, well, different.
Once you FULLY feel it, the cycle has a chance to end. Once it ends, you can learn from it and move on. In some cases, you’ll learn where the self-doubt developed, usually from a parent or a friend or some situation you hesitated in that you were too young to deal with. These little hesitations get stored in our bodies as stress and reference points. Now that the emotion has had a chance to heal, the next time it comes up, our body knows what to do with it.
Sure it may come back, but usually, this is a different version of the emotion, and since our body knows how to handle one version, usually other versions are easier to handle, process, and be free from.
Thanks for reading, you’re awesome.