Ok, so I’ve done a lot of crazy things this year. I started doing stand up comedy, I started a job doing viral social media content creation. I still coach, yes, don’t worry, I won’t stop. That will never stop, I just had to re-work my own life since I’ve healed so much. I’ve met an insane amount of people this year, and honestly, with people come their own perspectives of the world. Perspectives that make you think about your own life, your own blockages and your own things you wish to create or figure out.
I’ve spent the last few years really applying what I know about healing, life and relationships to my own life. Honestly, it has turned it into overdrive. Not only are my senses in relationships so unblocked that it feels like seeing through the matrix. Yes, I can see what you love and hate about relationships, and yes, I won’t do a single thing about it unless you ask.
The truth is, as I’ve met many people this year, their perspectives have reflected my own. So in this article I want to share some of the bigger breakthroughs I’ve had, especially with social media, human connection and money.
“I just need to figure it out.”
Oh boy, this is a BIG ONE.
If you’ve ever found yourself saying “I just need to figure it out,” get prepared to hit yourself over the head with a hammer. You’re not the only one.
The trap of “figuring” something out is one that plights many of us. Content creators struggle and tell themselves
“I need to figure it out” when referring to their content or finding their niche. Business owners struggle and tell themselves
“I need to figure it out” when referring to their business. I spent YEARS telling myself
“Oh, once I figure out some grand content or business strategy then I will be safe and rich.”
The belief that one has to figure it out can be in many ways an attempt to numb the pain. Numb the pain of “not figuring it out” or numb the pain of proverbial poverty. Proverbial poverty in this case refers to the feeling of poverty in the current moment:
- Lack of money.
- Lack of impact.
- Lack of viewers.
- Lack of time.
The phrase “when I figure it out” is itself a phrase to bargain with yourself to numb said pain. It is sort of like saying “it is ok, when I figure it out I won’t have the lack.” This statement might be true but it stops you from viewing a key feature of existence.
Figuring it out is not a destination.
Fuck, I used to do it ALL THE TIME. Seriously, all the time, and at the current space of writing this article, I still do in some areas.
You know how above when I said that telling yourself that you’re going to figure out can be a way of numbing the pain? It is also a way to mitigate the work. That by “figuring it out” you also achieve some form of enlightenment that causes the work itself to be easy.
A good example is in marketing.
A person might think.
“Oh, once I figure out the formula to marketing, then I will have made it.”
Because what would the formula bring? Money? Fame? Financial stability? All of these counter-act a proverbial poverty.
On the other hand, what else does this counter act?
What else it counter acts…
It is interesting to say that this also counter acts success. Hear me out. I know in life we have to work things out. Somebody had to workout certain kinds of medicine in order for the rest of us to use it.
BUT. When we go around our day to day life telling ourselves,
“oh, I’ve I figure this out then X will happen,” it can actually be caused by a fear of success.
WHAT? FEAR OF SUCCESS? Sharam, you nuts.
Yes, I know I am nuts, but hear me out. For some people (me included at many points in my life) success if uncomfortable. If it comes too soon we can feel weird or confused. For many of us looking at social media or content out there we are told that we have to work for it.
Yes, you do have to work for it, but for some we can become addicted to the work. Addicted to the struggle.
Yoda once said
“Do or do not, there is no try,” but for many of us we can become addicted to the trying.
I don’t care if you’re running a business or trying to find love. Success in these areas for some people can be so contradictory to what a person believes that it is possible for a person to procrastinate on their success despite the fact they know what to do in a situation.
If a person who is comfortable with a certain level of struggle in their life actually succeeds with less struggle this can void a lot of personal beliefs that have got them through their life. It can be quite a shock to their system that:
- Love can be easy.
- Relationships can be easy.
- Money can start to flow.
- We can find peace with our body and our appearance.
All these things can be scary because of hereditary trauma.
Sharam, what the hell is hereditary trauma?
Ok, hereditary trauma is the process of handing down our trauma from one generation to the next. These are often things that one generation has told themselves to survive. There is nothing wrong with this trauma. For one generation it could be a fear of poverty that causes them to work hard.
When working directly with healing a person is capable of witnessing their own family trauma end. Often a person can see their issues and where they came from.
Ok, back to the point Sharam…
Ok, so back to the point.
The point is, I’ve said this in a video. That the entire time we can tell ourselves that,
“I’ll figure this out when,” but really figuring it out is the job.
That is it. A healed perspective of this particular sentence is the recognition that figuring it out is the actual job itself.
When you realise this, everything changes with regards to acheivement.
“I’ll figure it out” with regards to attaining clients becomes the understanding that one must develop an ongoing relationship with clients and learning how to connect, create and wow clients.
“I’ll figure it out” with regards to connecting with a new viewership becomes the understanding that one can never fully “figure it out” in a constantly changing algorithmic environment.
“I’ll figure it out” with regards to fitness becomes the understanding that goals and life change just as much as fitness regimes do.
“I’ll figure it out” with love changes to the understanding that deeper connections come from constant honesty and dialogue.
The truth is, with all of this, once you’ve accepted in a particular area that you will never really figure it out you actually start to. Since you’re available to all the possible and ongoing understandings a situation might have you’re now capable of actually figuring it out. Since you can are more available to the fact that life itself is a verb not a noun, you can now work with life.
Then, ironically, you’ve figured it out.
Either that or you’re in the flow of figuring it out, in which this entire article was for nothing.