Online Dating Tips + Scams For Women + Men – Ask Harvey #62


There is no summary written for this, you'll just have to read it and find out :)

‘m sick of people who complain about their problems.

I say this because I spent my morning today scrolling through Facebook. I see several themes of posts.

The first theme is those who use Facebook as a venting platform.
Don’t fucking vent, deal with your actual problem!

The second theme is those who use Facebook to show subtle cries of help.
What is better? Crying for help or dealing with your problems?

The third theme is those who use their problems to make themselves unique.
What do you want to be known for? The person with all the problems or the person who actually makes life better?

You see, I find most of you guys placate yourselves with 5 magic words. These are the magic words that you tell yourself over and over and over again. I can instantly tell how your love life is going or your life in general by these 5 magic words. Sometimes people use them and it actually means something, but MOST of the time you all use it to JUSTIFY why you’re living situation is just shit.

Want to know what those words are?

Are you sure?


90% of the time people say this because they are trying to justify the reason why they aren’t where they want to be.

Love life sucks. I am working on it.
People mistreat me. I am working on it.
My leg is bleeding. I am working on it.

Sure, you MIGHT be working on it, but don’t tell yourself that just to make yourself feel better. Usually, when you’re working on it, you see results! INSTANT results, results that translate in your life. Not glitter that you use to justify your problems as making you feel special!

That’s why my clients start to see massive effects instantly. This isn’t feel good glitter and sparkles, this is stuff that really works with yourself.

This is why I pulled the 7 Day Self Love Course, you guys were using it to make yourself feel better but not actually solve your problems.

What do you want? To feel better temporarily or solve your problems and feel ecstatic?

It should feel euphoric, and only those people who have lost everything and learn to deal with what they have known this. This is why most people go through massive breakups before they realise what they deserve. This is also why when people hit rock bottom, they realise what actually matters for them.

This is why, self-love is a bullshit game people play until they hit the real thing that works, and that is self-knowing. Self-discovery.

This is why I say know you love yourself when you don’t have to ask that question. It’s never something that you do, it’s something that you are! Something that if somebody questioned, they would be silly!

Somebody might say,
“The sky is red.” You say back,
“you’re an idiot, can’t you see the sky is blue.”

Then, to this extent, people say,
“You’re not that attractive.”
“You idiot, you just can’t see beauty.”

This is self-love, not hocus pocus temporary feel-good-stuff. Sure, you have to feel good to make things happen right? But usually, when you also see results you start to feel good as well.

For example, in my own life, I’ve tried to lose weight constantly. Turns out, I discovered dry fasting. BAM, whenever I want to lose weight I just do that. No ifs, no buts, just results. Then I get to enjoy the process. Then all that bhudist and enlightened stuff people say start to make sense.

“The joy is in the journey, not the outcome.” They say.

Then why the hell do you want to do something then? Go live in a ditch and enjoy that journey. You chose to live in a house because you enjoy it right?

You want a relationship because you want to enjoy that. ENJOY THAT JOURNEY! That’s the journey you want. Not the pain and struggle to get there!

So, now that I’ve picked that beef, I have one more beef to pick with you. That’s online dating.

Online dating, while good for some people (I say that because my best mate is getting married at the end of the year, through online dating), most people use it because they are too lazy or scared to meet people in real life.

“Oh, I am busy.”

If you’re too busy to meet people in real life, then something is wrong. If you’re too busy to recognise somebody who serves you coffee or that is buying the same cereal as you or is dancing in a funny way like you in a bar, then something is deeply wrong.

We are a society that loves busy. BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY RIGHT?

I’m busier than half you people, yet I still find ways to meet people in EVERY SITUATION I AM IN. Why? Because I know that If I am too busy or stressed to make a connection with the wait staff at a restaurant while I am eating food, then something is wrong.


Don’t take the HUMAN out of it and just make it race. That shit is just stupid otherwise.

So, this week, I’ve made an awesome video. It’s about online dating. I talk about some do’s and don’ts of it, and talk about the real thing that matters the most. I’m NOT going to only say “get off it,” because the stuff I say is powerful.

It’s super raw. Super to the point and deep about what I say.

Share this post

Work with Sharam

Employ the services of a world renowned Healer, Relationship, Sexuality and Life Coach.

Free 30 minute audio coaching session on the page. No strings attached.

Get Privately Coached by Sharam Namdarian himself. Unlock your abilities, speak to an expert, access your confidence, learn self love, upgrade your social skills and more.

Every coaching program is bespoke for you to get maximum results. Make sure to open your mind up and prepare for your heart to do the same.



Login To Come In

Some of our favourite courses.

Heal yourself and create the life you deserve now.